If you want to know my predictions without reading the whole post, here are pictures of who I believe will win their WrestleMania matches.
Night One Winners (clockwise from top left):
- The Miz and Logan Paul will defeat The Mysterios
- Bianca Belair will defeat Becky Lynch and win the Raw Women’s Championship
- Ronda Rousey will defeat Charlottle Flair and win the SmackDown Women’s Championship
- Vacant/Unknown opponent of Vince McMahon’s choosing will defeat Seth Rollins
- The New Day (Xavier Woods and Kofi Kingston) will defeat Sheamus and Ridge Holland
- Drew McIntyre will defeat Happy Corbin
- The Usos will defeat Shinsuke Nakamura and Rick Boogs and retain the SmackDown Tag Team Championship
Night Two Winners (counter-clockwise from bottom left):
- Naomi and Sasha Banks will defeat Queen Zelina and Carmella, Rhea Ripley and Liv Morgan, and Natalya and Shayna Baszler and win the Women’s Tag Team Championship
- Roman Reigns will defeat Brock Lesnar to retain the Universal Championship and win the WWE Championship
- Edge will defeat AJ Styles
- Pat McAfee will defeat Austin Theory
- Bobby Lashley will defeat Omos
- RK-Bro will defeat The Street Profits and Alpha Academy to retain the Raw Tag Team Championship
- Johnny Knoxville will defeat Sami Zayn
Expecting Grammy’s Predictions?
Yes, I am making predictions for this weekend’s upcoming WrestleMania – the iconic, annual,
pay-per-view premium live event from WWE, the world’s largest professional wrestling/sports entertainment promotion.
I am doing this because I decided that my blog, from this day forward, will be a professional wrestling blog. Instead of movies and television, I’ll now be talking about the happenings primarily in WWE and AEW (#EveryoneLovesTheAcclaimed #YouKnowItsAllAboutTheBOOM #WhoseHouse? #SwervesHouse #DMD #Cowboy**** #GreenLikeMoney #That*****Show), and there is no better way to kick offthis sudden left turn than to discuss WrestleMania.
Yes, I know wrestling is “fake”, but that is honestly why I find it so intriguing as an adult. I personally do not watch combat sports like boxing or UFC, but the melodrama, larger-than-life characters, long-term storylines, unnecessarily extravagant entrances, and well-choreographed, in-ring stunts make professional wrestling a far more entertaining experience. In a way, I think of it as a bizarre, highly physical soap opera, so maybe this isn’t too much of a departure for this blog.
WrestleMania 38 has been billed as “The most stupendous two-night event in WrestleMania history.” Odd wording aside, on the evenings of April 2nd and 3rd, several of the greatest superstars in this industry will battle each other to settle rivalries and/or gain championships in Dallas, Texas, and as much as I’d like to go on about how these matches have been built, I think you all just want to get into my predictions.
I will also warn you that if you are not familiar with professional wrestling terminology, then you may find some parts of this post confusing, but thanks to the Internet, you can look up anything that doesn’t sound familiar to you 😊.
A few overall thoughts before I get started:
- I know I’m not the only one who feels this way, but the Intercontinental and United States Championships deserve better. How are they not being defended at WrestleMania? I hope there’s some impromptu match or something for any of these titles.
- “Stupendous”? There are so many other words in the dictionary, folks. But then again, this is the 38th WrestleMania.
- Well wishes to Big E, as he recovers from his injury. I hope Woods and Kingston make him proud!
- This is going to be a LONG show – FOURTEEN matches across TWO nights!
Let’s Get STUPENDOUS!
Night 1 – Saturday, April 2nd
Becky Lynch (champion) vs. Bianca Belair – Singles match for the Raw Women’s Championship
“You can’t spell WrestleMania without E-S-T.“
- Thoughts: It’s a shame that this will likely not main event any of the nights because this will probably be one of the best matches here, given how talented these two are and how well they did battling for that championship on the November 1st episode of Raw. With that being said, I think getting this win and redemption over Lynch will make for a fantastic WrestleMania moment for Belair, given that unfair, 26-second loss at SummerSlam last year. I just hope that the championship doesn’t find itself in a boring “hot potato” between Lynch and Belair afterwards (i.e. – constant rematches), like last year’s between Rhea Ripley and Charlotte Flair.
- Should Win: Bianca Belair
- Will Win: Bianca Belair
Rey Mysterio and Dominik Mysterio vs. The Miz and Logan Paul – Tag team match
The 619 vs. the 216!
- Thoughts: Logan Paul is probably going to give an unexpectedly fantastic performance tonight. Given his history with boxing and videos of him learning wrestling pretty quickly, he will likely show great chemistry with The Miz and offer the Mysterios a good challenge. I am a longtime fan of Rey Mysterio, and I think it would be amazing for him and his son Dominik to share a father-son Wrestlemania win. However, I think this match might end up being a launching pad for Paul’s wrestling career, which will probably see him and the Miz going for the Raw Tag Team Championship after this.
- Should Win: The Mysterios
- Will Win: The Miz and Logan Paul
Drew McIntyre vs. Happy Corbin (with Madcap Moss) – Singles match
Y’all remember when Drew McIntyre’s last two WrestleMania matches were for the WWE Championship?
- Thoughts: On paper, and given its build throughout the past several months, this is not a WrestleMania-caliber match. At best, this is either a SmackDown main event or a preshow for a
PPVpremium live event that is not WrestleMania/Royal Rumble/SummerSlam/Survivor Series. I hope this match isn’t too long, but I think we will get a good showing between McIntyre and Corbin, with McIntyre obviously winning. Perhaps we’ll probably see the end of Corbin and Moss as a duo, so that’s at least interesting.
- Should Win: Drew McIntyre
- Will Win: Drew McIntyre
Jey Uso and Jimmy Uso (The Usos; champions) vs. Shinsuke Nakamura and Rick Boogs – Tag team match for the SmackDown Tag Team Championship
My name’s Rick…BOOGS! And I came here to rock with (possibly) ½ of the new SmackDown Tag Team Champions – say it with me – Shinsuke…. Nakamur….AAAAAAAAAAA!
- Thoughts: I wish this match had a longer and more serious build. These four are great wrestlers, so this will definitely be a fun match to watch. The problem is that the SmackDown tag team division has been booked very poorly since the draft in October, where every tag team except for the New Day have been made to look weak in comparison to the Usos. This also mirrors how, in general, nearly everyone in SmackDown is booked to look weak and/or unimportant except for Roman Reigns, the Usos, Charlotte Flair, and Ronda Rousey, and I don’t think the WWE creatives are done with imbalance just yet. With being said, I think the Usos will retain, but if they do lose, we might be closer to the end of the Bloodline’s dominance than we think.
- Should Win: The Usos
- Will Win: The Usos
The New Day (Xavier Woods and Kofi Kingston) vs. Ridge Holland and Sheamus (with
Pete Dunne Butch) – Tag team match
Don’t you dare be sour, fella.
- Thoughts: If this rivalry started earlier, were written better, and had more one-on-one matches between these groups beforehand, then I would say it would be worthy of a culminating WrestleMania match. The best I can hope for, at this point, is that (1) the match will be great and (2) if this doesn’t end the rivalry, then it will lead to a stronger storyline between the New Day and Sheamus’s new faction.
- Should Win: The New Day
- Will Win: The New Day
Seth Rollins vs. TBA – Single’s match
😊: “WOOOOAAAH-OOOH – you’re only smoke and mirrors!”
😠: “Here comes the money!” (or anything else)
- Thoughts: No thoughts here because we don’t know how “TBA” going to be. Not a clue, but I have a feeling he’s going to win, probably.
- Should Win: TBA
- Will Win: TBA
Charlotte Flair (champion) vs. Ronda Rousey – Single’s match for the SmackDown Women’s Championship
Is this going to be a Submission match?
- Thoughts: As poor as the rivalry has been portrayed between Flair and Rousey, let us not forget that these two are excellent in the ring. I expect for this match, given the story being about how Flair hasn’t been tapped out, to be a more technical, submission-heavy bout than a typical Flair match. Like I how feel about the Raw Women’s Championship, I hope this doesn’t mark the start of a “hot potato” between Flair and Rousey for this championship, sacrificing opportunities for others in the SmackDown Women’s division.
- Should Win: Ronda Rousey
- Will Win: Ronda Rousey
Kevin Owens hosts the KO Show with special guest“Stone Cold” Steve Austin
One punch. “What?” Two punches. “What?” Three punches. “What?” A brawl. “What?” And a stunner. “What?”
Night 2 – Sunday, April 3rd
Queen Zelina and Carmella (champions) vs. Sasha Banks and Naomi vs. Rhea Ripley and Liv Morgan vs. Natalya and Shayna Baszler – Fatal four-way tag team match for the Women’s Tag Team Championship
The champions defend against three teams that can each co-exist.
- Thoughts: [Insert take on how despite the progress made by the Women’s Revolution arc, the WWE Women’s division is still poorly booked.] I will say, even though I wish there were more non-title rivalries in the Women’s division, instead of pairing every non-world champion contender up and throwing them into one match, at least these are some good pairings that work quite well in the ring. I expect for this to be a good match, which I hope gives Sasha Banks her first WresleMania win. I wouldn’t be upset, though, if Morgan/Ripley or Baszler/Natalya win instead.
- Should Win: Sasha Banks and Naomi
- Will Win: Sasha Banks and Naomi
Sami Zayn vs. Johnny Knoxville – Anything Goes match
Thankfully, this is not for the Intercontinental Championship.
- Thoughts: This will be quite an entertaining bout between the talented Zayn and Knoxville of Jack*** (sorry, no swearing on this blog; children might read this) fame. With this stipulation, which I assume is another way of saying “No Holds Barred” or “No DQ”, I expect for there to be a lot of weapons being used and interference from the Jack*** crew, which will likely give Knoxville the win here. From here, though, I hope Sami Zayn gets back into a championship storyline; he is long overdue for a world title reign.
- Should Win: Johnny Knoxville
- Will Win: Johnny Knoxville
Pat McAfee vs. Austin Theory – Singles match
Hey, Pittsburgh, I guess y’all can call this match SmackDAHN vs. Raw 2022 (ignoring the other Interbrand matches in this card)
- Thoughts: Oh look – another celebrity match! Well, in this case, McAfee is also a commentator on SmackDown who has wrestled in WWE before, so the match quality probably won’t be that bad. In fact, this will probably be a great showcase of McAfee’s wrestling ability, a performance will match the passion that he brings to his commentary.
- Should Win: Pat McAfee
- Will Win: Pat McAfee
RK-Bro (Randy Orton and Riddle; champions) vs. The Street Profits (Angelo Dawkins and Montez Ford) vs. Alpha Academy (Chad Gable and Otis) – Triple threat tag team match for the Raw Tag Team Championship
RKOs Outta Nowhere!
- Thoughts: Unlike SmackDown, Raw has done a great job with its men’s tag team division, and I am looking forward to some excellent performances from all six wrestlers here. I’m fine with any of these teams winning, as long as we don’t have any more back-and-forth between The Street Profits and Alpha Academy, as this rivalry cannot seem to end. I really like the Street Profits, and I hope they get to have one more run with the titles before they inevitably split up (hopefully via a draft and in a way that ensures Dawkins looks good solo; Ford is destined for an amazing solo run in the future).
- Should Win: The Street Profits
- Will Win: RK-Bro
Edge vs. AJ Styles – Singles match
You thought you knew me.
- Thoughts: I’m still confused with the sudden change in Edge’s character, but at least this will pay off with a great match between two modern wrestling legends. This will probably be the best quality match of this card. Edge’s character shift suggests that he has a few more things to do before going away for a while given his part-time status, so because of this, I don’t think Styles will win, as much I think he should.
- Should Win: AJ Styles
- Will Win: Edge
Bobby Lashley vs. Omos – Singles match
The start of a new era for the “Almighty”?
- Thoughts: Similar to my thoughts on Edge’s recent heel turn, I’m still a bit confused about Lashley’s face turn, but I think a match with the “dominating”, “monster heel” giant Omos will clear things up for me. I think it’d look great for Lashley if he gave Omos his first singles loss, but I’m not sure what happens from there. Similarly, if Omos won, I don’t know what would be next? A title pursuit, maybe? I also don’t expect for this match to be that long.
- Should Win: Bobby Lashley
- Will Win: Bobby Lashley
Brock Lesnar (WWE Champion) vs. Roman Reigns (Universal Champion; with Paul Heyman) – Winner Takes All match to unify the WWE Championship and Universal Championship
The Beast Incarnate clashes with the Tribal Chief!
This, by far, has had the greatest build out of all the WrestleMania matches this year (only the Lynch/Belair feud comes close to this). It’s also really hard for me to figure out who will win this. Since his much-needed heel turn back in late 2020, Reigns has become the current face of WWE, defeating nearly all the Men’s division’s best competitors. He has already faced Lesnar at Crown Jewel last year, and that was a great match, except for the ending in which Reigns cheated his way to a victory. Given Lesnar’s incredible skillset and fury over that loss, Reigns is going to have a much bigger challenge this time around, and he is clearly not fooled with a smiling, cowboy babyface Lesnar. I wish there were a stipulation in which Paul Heyman and the Usos were banned from ringside, such that there will a clean ending to this regular match.
Regardless, get ready for a lot of spears, suplexes, Superman punches, and F-5s. While this isn’t the first time these two have faced each other at Wrestlemania, this will probably be their best match, and as long any cheating doesn’t make the ending look cheap, we may be talking about this match and its impact for years to come.
With that being said, let this match cement Roman Reigns’s “god mode”, and may WrestleMania 38 end with us acknowledging the Tribal Chief.
- Should Win: Roman Reigns
- Will Win: Roman Reigns
HA HA HA – April Fools!
While these are my legitimate thoughts on this weekend’s WrestleMania, this is NOT going to be a professional wrestling blog. Please do not expect more posts like this. See you soon with some more thoughts on movies and TV!